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Sneaky Peeks: Top-Secret Rifle Lubricant Cures All Gun Ailments

Sneaky Peeks: Top-Secret Rifle Lubricant Cures All Gun Ailments

Said to reduce swelling and magically eliminate stress, this top-secret rifle oil will fix all your rifle’s ailments.

Regular readers of this column are probably aware I lifted my finger off the pulse of military-arms developments approximately 5 seconds after retiring from the Army. Rather than beating the bushes for information the way sensible writers do, I found that it’s much easier to use a back-channel source for pre-publication versions of American Rifleman to stay abreast of what’s coming down the military-rifle shooter’s pike.

But every 10 years or so, I stumble on a juicy nugget that allows me to beat my competitors to the punch. This month (April; hint, hint) is one such case, coming straight from the mouth of a U.S. Army acquisition officer working within the Project Manager-Soldier Weapons office. Naturally, he was only willing to speak to me on condition of anonymity. Therefore, in order to protect Lieutenant Colonel Hugibare’s identity, I will only refer to him here as “LTC H.” 

Military-gun buzz is normally focused on the newest shoulder-fired rifle, carbine, handgun or ammunition. However, LTC H tells me this most exciting development is actually an all-natural plant extract that will soon be issued as a lubricant for our troops’ rifles, as well as other small arms.

Unlike most of the other organic oils marketed for firearms, this stuff does not turn into glue if combined with other lubricants or left in storage over the long term, nor does it smell like a football locker room. True, this isn’t as sexy as a new bullet-launcher, but hang in there because this oil’s story is guaranteed to be a game-changing [and possibly soothing] read.

According to LTC H, the new oil seems to help any ailment from which a battlefield weapon may suffer. I asked for examples of the new oil’s prowess and LTC H was locked and loaded with several interesting observations. For instance, he stated that the oil seems to smooth out any kinks in a self-loading rifle’s works. LTC H heard directly from a stateside wheeled-vehicle mechanic that entire infantry units in Afghanistan have glided smoothly through heavy action with enemy forces without a single malfunction.

A Kuwait-based Air Force weatherman account went even further, stating that this wonder oil caused M4 and M110 variants to fire faster and more accurately even though troops were exhausted from an hours-long firefight in Northern Syria. A theory is the new oil reduces swelling in a gun’s extremities, but thus far no independent testing can confirm this.

LTC H says new uses for the oil are being discovered all the time. For example, ballistics engineers figured out that average muzzle velocities increase by approximately 67.56 percent when bores, bullets, targets and Doppler screens are pre-treated with the oil. Armorers found it also improves digestive problems, which I believe refers to problematic ammunition.

Astonishingly, early user testing also indicates that when applied to rifle buttplates and shooters’ shoulders, the oil reduced painful recoil and nauseating concussion from M107, .50 BMG sniper-weapon systems. Soldiers at a Ft. Lewis, WA, range were recently observed alternating between napping and firing hundreds of 84 mm Carl Gustav recoilless rifle rounds after slathering themselves with the oil. 

This new super-lube has revealed several other interesting properties. For instance, when used in machining operations, it was found to relieve stress in barrel steel after all boring, rifling, profiling and threading operations were completed. Normal procedures require cooling fluids to be used on barrel steel during machining to help reduce stresses imparted from heat, followed by further stress relief by heating or cryogenic cooling. Those old methods are rendered unnecessary by the new oil. Completed barrels are simply rubbed down and all stress is magically eliminated. 

Navy Corpsmen have discovered Marines who are accidentally butt-stroked by weapons lubed up with the new oil experience none of the usual pain, swelling and bruising. Troops who have been involved in controlled testing of the oil also report feeling better about themselves than when using regular gun lubes. An interesting example of this effect was witnessed last November, during the high-stress shooting evaluations encountered in a Special Forces Sniper School class.

Those teams that were using the new oil on their M110 variants had a significant reduction in shooter/spotter arguments after critical shots were missed. It’s no wonder that my sniper buddy and I haven’t spoken in years; we used CLP back in our day.

I pressed LTC H for the origins of this new wonder-product and he would only divulge its military street name: Chabradel (pronounced Shez-bray-idoll, just like it’s spelled). My suspicion was that the name was rooted in the French words “charge” (load), “bras” (arm) and “delai” (delay) in order to confuse Chinese spies turned out to be wrong.

The name actually derives from the phonetic words Charlie, Bravo and Delta, which is likely a randomly generated codename. Anyway, I can verify that Charlie Bravo Delta is truly amazing stuff. Ever since LTC H sold me a test vial, I’ve enjoyed—even craved—all the back-gassing from my suppressed 6.5 Grendel. 

I asked my source if he had any more tippers that could help me stay a step ahead of my rifle-writing contemporaries. He promised to soon give me the full scoop on the Army’s hot new rifle chambering, cryptically known as the .30 U.S. Army. Hugibare says the word on the street is the whole 6.8 mm thing was subterfuge; once again proving that it pays to remain behind the information power curve.

Initial .30 U.S. Army factory offerings are said to be 220-grain “Full Patch Staynless” and 180-grain “Super Speed Controlled Expanding” loads, though Hornady reportedly already has a commercial offering ready to go. LTC H’s bar-napkin sketch of the new rifle chambered for this cartridge shows an interesting, side-mounted magazine that can be topped off with individual rounds. Rest assured, I’ll tell you all about it in about 12 months.

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