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CMMG’s Tactical Sammich

When the apocalypse arrives, will you be stuck eating astronaut ice cream, or would you prefer a hearty sandwich?

By Ed Friedman (RSS)
November 10, 2011

They laughed at you when you warned them about the zombies. They called you crazy, paranoid—a lunatic. Now, the economy has collapsed. Civil unrest has rocked the cities and suburbs. Food is scarce, and what little can be found is unappetizing. Fortunately, you don’t care, because you were smart enough to stock up on CMMG’s Tactical Sammich.

In the midst of the post-apocalyptic wasteland, you have a tasty sandwich that stays fresh for up to five years. There’s even a flavor choice from the company that gave us Tactical Bacon a few years ago: pepperoni or barbecued beef.

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How does it taste? Well, again, it is a Tactical Sammich, designed for consumption when things deserving of the tactical moniker are needed, so taste is not your number one concern. That said, the sandwich is not awful. The bread was surprisingly spongy—not at all stale—and the beef wasn’t as dry as one might expect from a vacuum-sealed food product. We’d describe the taste as similar to beef jerky on under-baked focaccia.

Compared to other survival foods we’ve tried, it’s quite good, and it will almost certainly be a nice dose of variety to freeze-dried chicken and Spam or dehydrated lasagna, Spam and Spam dinners. Plus, you’ll be the only guy on your block with a Tactical Sammich, which means you’ll be the only one left when the zombies come.

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Comments

10 Responses to CMMG’s Tactical Sammich

  1. Pingback: Instapundit » Blog Archive » WHAT AMERICA NEEDS: A tactical sandwich. “In the midst of the post-apocalyptic wasteland, you have…

  2. Pingback: Tactical Sammich - Southern Maryland Community Forums

  3. Doug says:

    I thought that’s what Twinkies were for?

  4. Edward Royce says:

    They would be better of doing Tactical Tacos.

    Not only does that sound better but you can separate the different materials from each other. This makes it much easier to preserve the ingredients and with a self-heating pouch you can even have hot food.

    The ingredients themselves could vary tremendously with no particular attachment to Mexican style food at all. Ham & eggs, hotdog & sauerkraut w/pickle, hamburger halves.

    Personally I use flour tortillas for a lot of different styles of food because it’s very easy to store, easy to use and you generally don’t have to worry about food falling out.

    Tactical Tacos. CMMG you should be thankful I’m not competing against you.

  5. CDville says:

    Looks like a poptart.

  6. UnoHoo says:

    Me? I’m goin’ canibal. Been stocking up on 57 sauce.

  7. Bob Myers says:

    Put your trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. Ultimately God is in control and you need to trust in Him not in some stupid “Sammich”.

  8. Vables says:

    Tactical sammies are even better with some tactical bacon, all I need now is some tactical hot sauce!

  9. Spikey says:

    @Bob Myers..Bob, Bob…Bob, Bob…Bob!
    What are you thinking man?

    Don’t need sammich, don’t need food, don’t need anything except trust in JC eh?

    If JC could be relied on enough not to need food to eat in emergencies, we wouldn’t have emergencies either would we?

    Grow up.

    Whatever happened to the Lord helps he who helps himself then?

    If you think faith and trust in JC is ALL anyone ever needs, drive out to the middle of Death Valley, leave your vehicle and walk for a few days with no rations whatsoever…you’ll be fine though, as you have faith and trust in JC…so no worries eh?

    (n.b. You probably might not want to actually go into the middle of a nightmare desert with no food or water, as you will end up deader than a very, very dead thing, so not particularly a clever thing to do)

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