Want Ad: “Missing Testicle”

Last seen mingling with a .38 semi-automatic handgun. I would have broken up the pair, but I couldn’t legally touch the firearm. Before I knew it an argument broke out and the testicle has been missing since. I’ve been crying like a little girl since his mysterious disappearance, I don’t understand why I can’t get my little buddy’s photo on milk cartons and I keep hearing his favorite tune in my head, Rodeo Song by Chris LeDoux.